" The truth is, I don't really like to think about college. Cause that means high school's over. After graduation {..] I'll have to start all over. Alone. I'm sure I'll be fine. But like I said, I don't like to think about it. "
For a lot of students the time came to apply for college. For some people their choices are already made. They know exactly where they are going. But for many more they are lost in all of this. Lost because at 18 years old we have to make one of the biggest decision ever about our carreer and our future. Some people will just go like '' eh I don't know what this is but I wanna know let's do this. I don't know where it will bring me to but who cares" and I just ADMIRE them so much. Because they take a risk I'm afraid to take or can't. And then there are people like me who focus on " what job fits me the most?" and worry about all of this. In my case, it gives me a lot of anxiety. It's stressful, it's hard but I'm glad I have some friends to talk to about it. I gratuated high school and I started my first year of college on September.
The thing is that I'm in a place I feel like I don't belong . People are so different from me (the way they think, the way they talk, their priorites, their less of work..) and I can tell you it's a little bit hard sometimes. Also, what I'm studying which is marketing/ selling and I don't think I will be good at it because I don't have the ''profil" / que ça me corresponde you know?. And I assure you all of this is really scary. If you ask me what I love I will tell you Economic, English, Literrature. Then why not study Economic? Well same problem. I'm too focus on the "job" part and may be not enough on what I like to study. I also have different motivation than learning a particular job.
I wanna learn, understand the world, being more open-minded than I try to be and it might be a problem too haha. I also have this paradox where I wanna be free from my parents, have my appartment, my job, y live and be able to do whatever I want and see whoever I want that why I'm hesitation on doing short studies which is not possible if I study Economic.
But the question I keep asking to myself if what if I'm missing something? What if I regret and that, if I went there I would have a blast and got to know amazing people? But I start to think that studies and work is a thing but there's so much more in life like live fully, love your friends and find a lover that just like Frida Kahlo said " looks at you like may be you're magic" (which I'm glad I found) and I worry maybe for nothing because make a mistake isn't something bad right?
Anyway, all of this stresses me and I try to deal with it the best way I can even if some times I just panic especially when I come at my appartment and there's just silence or at night where I overthink way too much.
I know I'm not the only one to be like in this situation and there are plenty of people that went through this? That's why I'm asking YOUR advices, stories etc that might not only me but everyone worrying about their future, a future, that is so uncertain for now.
Thanks for reading. Hope I didn't annoy you haha. Love love xo -Nabila
The thing is that I'm in a place I feel like I don't belong . People are so different from me (the way they think, the way they talk, their priorites, their less of work..) and I can tell you it's a little bit hard sometimes. Also, what I'm studying which is marketing/ selling and I don't think I will be good at it because I don't have the ''profil" / que ça me corresponde you know?. And I assure you all of this is really scary. If you ask me what I love I will tell you Economic, English, Literrature. Then why not study Economic? Well same problem. I'm too focus on the "job" part and may be not enough on what I like to study. I also have different motivation than learning a particular job.
I wanna learn, understand the world, being more open-minded than I try to be and it might be a problem too haha. I also have this paradox where I wanna be free from my parents, have my appartment, my job, y live and be able to do whatever I want and see whoever I want that why I'm hesitation on doing short studies which is not possible if I study Economic.
But the question I keep asking to myself if what if I'm missing something? What if I regret and that, if I went there I would have a blast and got to know amazing people? But I start to think that studies and work is a thing but there's so much more in life like live fully, love your friends and find a lover that just like Frida Kahlo said " looks at you like may be you're magic" (which I'm glad I found) and I worry maybe for nothing because make a mistake isn't something bad right?
Anyway, all of this stresses me and I try to deal with it the best way I can even if some times I just panic especially when I come at my appartment and there's just silence or at night where I overthink way too much.
I know I'm not the only one to be like in this situation and there are plenty of people that went through this? That's why I'm asking YOUR advices, stories etc that might not only me but everyone worrying about their future, a future, that is so uncertain for now.
Thanks for reading. Hope I didn't annoy you haha. Love love xo -Nabila